i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
