not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
