these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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