I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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