the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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