Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
