you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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