So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize