Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
