I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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