Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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