omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize