Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
