If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
