I wannas sexs uuuuu
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
