sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
