We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
