so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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