i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
