Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
