so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
