well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize