wrigley field is MILF paradise
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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