So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
