yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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