He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
