would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
