Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
