from now on my penis is your penis
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
