Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
