Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
