for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
