So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
