I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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