Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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