ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
