You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
