Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
