you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
