i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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