the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
