Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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