just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
