Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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