Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
