I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
