One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
