just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
