So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
