can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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