hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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