There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
