you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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