I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
