New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
