So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
