He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
