I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize