someone threw a dead crab at me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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